Pet Adoption in America 101 - #3 - My Bird-Brained Ideas

Pet Adoption in America 101 - #3 - My Bird-Brained Ideas

There are undercover bird police in your area.  You can giggle about that if you like, but they exist.  I will tell you how to flush them out of their coveys:  advertise that you have birds for sale, OR reach out to adopt a bird from a local shelter.  I am the voice of experience.

A few years ago I had a delightful pair of peach-faced lovebirds that I brought to New York from my visit in Arizona.  Keilah was a green male peach faced, and Lucia was a bright yellow red faced (Lutino).  They were kind enough to breed some adorable little babies that I subsequently sold for such a low cost it should have been called “a donation.”  Nonetheless, their contribution to my household, really helped me break-even on the bird seed cost for quite a few months.  And I loved those little baby birds – so darned cute! 

One day I got a call from a woman in Rochester.  She wanted to come out and visit when she was in my area.  I said, “Sure, no problem.”  I was kind of surprised when she came to my front door with a man, and a camera slung around her neck.  She asked, “I love birds, do you mind if I take pictures?”  It was a weird request to walk into someone’s house to “look” and end up taking photos.  Nowadays they probably use clandestine cell phones to shoot pictures and don’t tell you they are doing it.  I am happy to say the cages were clean…. With more than 2 birds, the phrase “clean cages” is translated into “continual vigilance.”  I could clean one cage a day at this point and run out of days before I run out of cages.  Do the math.

It was not until they pulled out of my driveway without purchasing a bird that the wheels in my brain started to turn.  Who does that?  Who goes into a stranger’s house and takes pictures of their birds?  If you want nice pictures, go online and download some.  Then it dawned on me: they were bird police.  These are people who “rescue” birds from homes they find, in their infinite wisdom, are “unfit.”  I truly don’t know how they seize birds FROM people’s homes, but I know that they DO in fact do that. 

I own a bird that was previously in Nursing Home ministry and then in a private home, and then came to live with me …. via the back of a van in Scranton, Pennsylvania.  Ah, the adventures of my younger days.  But he is a beauty.  And in order for them to release him to me, I had to practically make marriage vows regarding the care and socialization of the bird.  As far as I know he still has no complaints.  It is too bad that he himself didn’t make some vows to me like, “I will not terrorize small children who yank their hand back with my cracker still in it,” and “I will not pierce the ear of visiting guests with baseball caps on.”  I still apologize to that friend – the bird must’ve thought the red cap was a wing coming near his cage – and the rest is history:  he flew in a circle around the man, pierced his ear for free, and flew back to his cage.  Now the bird doesn’t get let out when I have visitors.  Hoo boy.

My last run-in with the Bird Police was only recently.  I will not tell you where, but I will tell you how.  Again, my previously stated premise in article 1 of this series was:  It is easier to adopt a human child from a foreign country than to adopt an animal in the United States.  Read it and tell me of any other conclusion you could draw.

I have not seen an advertisement for cockatiels in a long time –primarily because raising puppies was on the grid and I had reached capacity with the birds.  Then, my female cockatiel died and the two male birds she lived with were whistling for her for days.  Well, not continually, just during daylight hours.

So I thought I should get back into the business.  Or, more aptly, get THEM back into business.  I found it next to impossible to find the birds for sale online.  Finally, I found one in a shelter.  I initiated an email of interest.  This began a volley of voluminous emails back and forth.  Well, they’d ask one question, and I had to respond in detail. 

My first email went to a contact person, who then referred me to the Adoption Case Manager.  She questioned whether I was willing to drive to where they were to get the bird.  Given the fact that finding the bird was getting really challenging, sure, I’m willing to take a scenic two hour ride to pick it up.  Oh, by the way, did I mention an adoption fee?  Well, my mother is probably reading this so I won’t quote figures, but let’s just say it was:  less than a pet store; less than 3 digits, and a hair more than I would have charged for it if I was selling it.  But by all rights, it should have been FREE because it was, in a word, “used.”  Unknown age.  Unknown history.  Etc.  Here’s the other kicker:  the quantity of information they gather about the “adoptive pet parent” is more than you know about the bird itself.

So all the questions led to:  I need to contact your veterinarian.  My response was along the lines of, “I don’t see WHY, because I don’t vet my birds.  By the time a bird looks sick, it is already at the edge of darkness.”  I give her the phone number because I am both patient and curious.  She responds back that I have two un-spayed dogs and cats that do not have their vaccinations up to date.  Instead of asking me these questions directly, she called the Vet’s office.  Really?  And the result, which I was surprised at was that this would block the adoption process.  Yeah, are you kidding me?!

My response back was rather curt, and rather lengthy.  At that point I decided that I needed to, as the moderns say, “speak MY Truth” more than I needed to adopt this bird.  And that truth read like this:

here are my very simple explanations for my care of my animals:
> 
> My 2 Female dogs have not been spayed because I breed them.  The oldest dog was spayed upon her adoption.
> The first one, Bethany, is scheduled to be spayed on 3/11.  She had two litters.  She is 9 years old.  The second one, Madeline, is from the first litter of Bethany.  Madeline will be bred when she comes into heat.
> Because of my reputation with the people who have bought puppies from me in the past, I already have half the prospective litter sold already.  I SLEEP IN THE BASEMENT with the puppies for the first three weeks of their lives to make sure that everything is fine - I am very particular about my pets' well-being.
> The dogs are up to date on vaccinations, heartworm meds, and flea meds.
> 
> The cats are both in the house.  The one year old cat is up to date on her vaccines.  I only vaccinate my cats for rabies since they are 100% in house.
> One cat is 14 years old.  Every day left that she has is a gift.  There is no reason to put any more chemicals into her aging body for any reason - other than if she was in pain.  
> 
> It appears that the rescue would have to research me in some way to make sure I am a good provider for the animals that share my home.  I get that.  But there comes a point where it becomes just plain frustrating.
> 
> these are my simple answers.  I am educated.  I have a job.  I have animals that I care for.  I am not a hoarder or an abuser.  That's the best I can do for you.

What was the end result, you wonder?  Well, she invited me to call her at 9am the next morning to see if we could “work it out.”  I did not make the phone call.  I was just plain frustrated with the process and it had moved me into the Land of Bad Mood.  Once I get there, it is best I go home quietly and leave well enough alone.

Oh wait, I forgot the very last straw:  they asked me to take a video of the Bird Room at my house since I live too far away for them to make a “home visit.” 

So now you know why I am a tad bitter about the Rescuers and their adoptive process.  The story does not really end there, though.  It ends somewhere on the back roads of Pennsylvania with my good friend and I looking for a Bird Farm that was advertised online.  Oh, I found it.  And as she said to me as we drove home:  “It was so dirty I’m surprised you bought one of the birds.”  My thought was that if you are raising hundreds of birds, there is going to be a little bit of seed on the floor – it doesn’t really count as dirt.  (Really, the birds were all bright-eyed and healthy looking.)  

It is because of this very devil-may-care attitude I sport that my very own grandmother used to say to me, “I am going to come to your house and let the window open and all those birds go.  Maybe then you will find a husband.”  That comment always could slay me, especially since one of my friends, who has been married 30 years, STILL can’t get her husband to pick up his dirty socks off the floor.  Plus, there are no pre-dating applications that question you about your indoor livestock.  Maybe I shouldn’t let that slip out.  The bachelors may contact the rescuers and then I will be mad at EVERYBODY.

################