Thursday, November 18, 2021

The Bump that Was

 11.18.2021

 So, like a good patient, I applied the hot pack as directed.  Gee, how I wish I had been given some specifics on what to expect.  I put it under my arm for two nights in a row and continued my typical routine of watching evening tv shows with the dogs.  It wasn’t an unpleasant task.  Then things changed. 

The bump kind of did a turtle maneuver and withdrew back into the tissue.  But it felt hot.  And it was angry red in the shape of a quarter.  I was temporarily worried.  Well, honestly for about 2 days.  Then like so many people who think the Old Ways may offer some relief, I took matters into my own hands.  If things weren’t going to come to a head, I could facilitate the process. 

You know those pads you can buy at the state fair or places like that that are supposed to detox the bottom of your feet?  Well, why wouldn’t that work on, well, elsewhere????  So, the third night I put that patch right over the red, hot angry area.  And you know what happened?  Absolutely nothing.  That was kind of good because I was worried if it backfired and something dramatic happened, I did not want to be on the receiving-end of The Look that medical providers give you when you are doing something dorky and non-medical.

The next morning, I was washing my face with this gentle, green clay cleanser.  And I thought to myself:  if this is supposed to draw out impurities from my face, then, “why wouldn’t that work on, well, elsewhere???” (see the repetitive train of logic.)  I thought that did nothing until the next day.  Then, something happened that necessitated paper towels and antibiotic bandaids.  That’s really all you need to know.  It is less red now.  The story is not over.  The little turtle is still lurking.  To add insult to injury, we are going to do a mammogram tomorrow (think slamming garage door on your chest analogy, as previously mentioned).

I am not scared.  I fully expect them to pat me on the hand and tell me it was just a cyst and it will resolve “over time” …. Kind of like when as kid I fell and bruised my knee and my father – bastion of sympathy that he is – said, “Stop crying.  It will heal up by the time you get married.”  Little did I know that I could have my whole body replaced piece by piece if I needed to … “before I got married.”  But one thing I already know about that procedure tomorrow:  it’s going to hurt – it doesn’t usually – and I am going to cry.  I am going to cry so that I don’t use any bad words.  Then I will walk out of that office, thank the Good Lord that this is no big deal and cry some more…. Because it’s going to hurt.  And I’m STILL not even engaged.

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Thursday, November 11, 2021

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

 


“Is the Pope Catholic?”

It used to be the tag-line joke to whenever anyone said anything that was painfully obvious:  “is the Pope Catholic?”  Last month I asked this question in my brain again, but in a very non-rhetorical way.  It came on the heels of first Nancy Pelosi meeting with Pope Francis, and then President Joe Biden.  So, I thought maybe for the purpose of telling you a few things you might not already be aware of about, well, Things Catholic, that could shed a different light on these untenable meetings.

First let me say this:  being a Catholic is not the same thing as belonging to a club like:  Rotary (a very nice service organization), or the Ladies Auxiliary to the American Veterans (they are supportive of service members), or the Elks or the Moose or the like.  No, Catholicism is a philosophy of life that is deeply rooted in both the Jewish and Christian wisdom traditions.  A wise professor once told us, “Lex orandi, Lex credendi,” the law of prayer is the law of creed/belief.  That means that if you want to understand what a person believes, look at what their prayers are composed of.  (At this point I restrain myself from going three other directions about the content of prayers and other groups for the interest of the particular topic at hand…. A story for another day.)

If you want to understand someone who is truly Catholic, you look at the content of the Nicean Creed which they pray at Mass.  It says everything they believe about God, the Church, and the final things of life.  It really is quite a nice neat little package too, if I do say so myself.  If you want to understand how a Catholic should live, you would look at 2 sources:  the Ten Commandments (3 about relating to God, 7 about relating to your neighbor) and the Beatitudes (the attitudes you should have in daily life: emphasis on humility).  Theoretically, you should be able to look at any Catholic and see those things lived out.  Theoretically.

So, really, we can just take one item:  the abortion discussion, and disqualify a lot of people from the embrace of Catholicism on just that point … if they are aware that they are standing in direct opposition to the Church’s teaching which extends:  “Thou shalt not Kill” to the unborn.  The Didache, which is a document from the earliest years of Christianity also underscores the heinous nature of abortion.  And you have, for instance, a President who claims to be “A Catholic in good standing” who has shown himself to be the most pro-abortion president in the history of the USA in his endorsement of Planned Parenthood the Abortion Machine. 

Catholic people, indeed practicing Christians of all denominations that revere the Bible as the Word of God to us, also believe that obeying lawful authority creates peace and good order.  One could easily extrapolate that those who are creating chaos at the southern border by dissolving any orderly process by which we welcome people into American society, are going against the spirit of that Biblical mandate.  To dissolve law and order creates anarchy – and God is a God of order. 

I cannot just SAY I am a Catholic and expect you to take me seriously if what I SAY out of the other side of my mouth flies completely in the face of Catholic moral teaching and Biblical standards.  That makes me one of two things … or if we were analyzing the President of the United States … or anyone else …. You still really are left with only one of two things:  a truth, or a non-truth.  I deliberately didn’t say “Lie” because I believe that in the case of the current occupant of the Oval Office, he is not fully capable of lying (or purposefully telling the truth, either) at this point in his mental decline.  I do have a modicum of compassion for him.  It has to be a terrible experience to have moments of lucidity where you realize you just have no idea at all what you are saying… or who you are … that your clarity only reveals how unclear you’ve been for who knows how long.  That’s got to be very disorienting.

Look, it would be very easy for me to itemize people I personally think are Bad Examples of attempts at Catholicism (dare I say JFK?  I think about Marilyn Monroe and Jackie. About all that complication due to his infidelity).  It is incredible to be given the highest challenge in the known world:  to lead America and be the Major Player on the world stage for peace and Justice, only to screw up royally in your private life.  At the end of the day, you can sit at the banquet table with kings and dignitaries but if your own kids had no good example to look up to, then what is it all worth?

It would be easier -because it overlaps my field of study – to tell you about the great heroes of Catholicism, names that you would know, stories that would inspire you and lift you up (John Paul the Great, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Dorothy Day, Francis of Assisi, and the like).  These are the great humanitarians of our age.  But this is not about that.  It is just for the sake of contrast.  Joe Biden had an opportunity and he has bungled it…. Over and over again …. And it’s not that we should add more pressure to an already stress-filled job.  It’s that you can’t be falling apart at the seams and be allowed to lead when in fact you are making huge deal-breaker mistakes.    But then you have, let’s call it, The Papal Incident.

The first clip I watched showed him presenting a warrior’s coin to the Holy Father.  And then, painfully, through a translator, explaining what it is and gifting it to the Holy Father on behalf of his deceased son, Beau Biden.  Truly, this was a touching gesture from a father’s heart that still carries the grief of loss embedded in its depths.  But watching him explain to the Holy Father what it is, was downright painful.  The Holy Father had to play a pleasant, but poker-face, because he didn’t KNOW what is being put in his hand and for what reason.  It’s like that incident in school when I laughed when I thought a person was fake-crying while reading a poem.  When I realized his movement was sincere emotion, it was ME who was embarrassed.  So, Joe put the Pope in an awkward spot.  But we can live with that one.

It’s then the other meeting – allegedly just the two of them – that he comes forth from the room claiming that the Pope has called him a “Catholic in good standing, and to still receive holy communion.”  Itemization to follow of what is wrong with this:

  •  Why were two major world leaders in the room alone with no translators?
  • Did you think Joe went to confession?  If so, the purpose of confessing is to speak to someone who understands and can give you wise counsel.  El Sancta Padre no habla ingles.  It’s that simple.  So, if you want some truly wise advice, go to someone who can dialogue with you, not just nod their head, otherwise your attempt makes a mockery out of the spirit of repentance and renewal.
  • Does Mr. Biden’s understanding of “Catholic in good standing” encompass everything I said earlier about the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and the earliest moral teachings of Christianity found in the Bible and the Didache?  Me thinks it does not.  Because if it did, either he is oblivious of the impact of his decision making, voting, legislating and pontificating, OR he is a liar.
  • Did the Pope really say that Mr. Biden is a “good Catholic”?  Or was the Pope a victim of a political maneuver on the chessboard of the world stage?
  • If the Pope really said that …. Does the POPE know what Mr. Biden has been up to? 
  • And if so, is the Pope lucid?  Or is he a collaborating foreign power that hails from a socialist country in South America, helping to turn the tide of American life into more chaos?  Is capitalism so intrinsically evil to his sensibilities, that he would see us fall apart altogether into national poverty, bloodshed, and social upheaval, rather than remain a democracy?  (*Important side note: I go to work.  A portion of my paycheck, without my consent, is extracted to pay for the needs of the poor and indigent who do not or perhaps cannot work.  Then when my portion hits the bank, I have to sort through not just bills, but appeals from charities all across this nation and other countries to decide who I can purposefully share my resources with.  I am not the only person who does this.  If we, as a nation, get jettisoned into the poor house, the gravy train stops abruptly. What good does THAT accomplish on the world stage?)
  • Does the Pope think that a refusal to hold Catholic politicians accountable to their declared faith is an act of non-judgmentalism?  If so, let me clarify:  there is a difference between right and wrong.  Both parents and teachers understand that children and the unknowing need to be educated on that.  It is an act of hatred to refuse to teach someone something that will save them from self-harm or creating misery for others.  Refusal to weigh-in on the moral responsibility held by public officers is, in and of itself, a grave moral evil … perhaps moreso for you if you are, well, say, …. The Pope.

We can excuse people from teaching others and holding others responsible for erroneous behaviors and moral judgments only if that person is also ignorant in some way of what is really going on.  Namely, if the Pope doesn’t have the clear picture on American politics by now, then perhaps his turn on the world stage is …. Over. 

This leaves us with not just one question:  Is the President a Catholic in good standing?  But also: Is the Pope a Catholic in good standing?

There will no doubt be those I love who think I have stepped too far on this line of reasoning.  But I implore you to consider that if reasoning and moral values are no longer practiced by the laity, who will guide the leadership back to where it needs to be?  It is not the cart that goes home at the end of the night; the horse himself always knows the way back to the barn.

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My Personal Bump-in-the-Road

 



November 10, 2021.

An hour from now my whole world could change.  The writer’s axiom is:  we write best when we write what we know.  For now, that is all I know:  my relatively calm little world could be completely flipped upside down…. Because last week I found a bump.  It was small, and it could be nothing, but I promised myself to watch it for a week and if that didn’t go away or do whatever they do to self-resolve, then I would “get it checked out.”  It was in the back of my mind.  The very far back of my mind.

Then, three days ago in the course of a phone call with my friend, I heard her say the words:  “I lost my 51-year-old friend to breast cancer.  She thought it was just a pimple.  She had a husband and three children…”  That JOLTED ME. The conversation continued onward, but a part of my brain was stuck in the mud like rear-wheel drive tires spinning and shooting dirt everywhere. 

I called my first choice for physicians who deal with this and happily spoke with my friend Brunetta.  She told me what to do next:  reach out to my PCP or my GYN because they have to set the wheels in motion after they see me FIRST.  I was grateful it was her on the other end of the phone, a friendly voice, a caring person I knew.  Frankly, I don’t want to be a patient at the hospital:  I just want to work here.  But it’s good to know that if I do need excellent care, I know exactly where to go.

So now I’m sitting at my desk, watching the clock, waiting for my appointment time.  Why?  It’s just a tiny little bump.  Here’s why:  because to that other lady who left behind a family, it was just a tiny little bump as well … until it wasn’t.  I don’t have the expertise or knowledge base to look at the thing and say, “it’s not a big deal.”  I want someone else to take responsibility for that so I can go on with my life without a nagging thought in the back of my mind. 

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The Next Day (November 11, 2021)

Is this the first day of the rest of my life?  The doctor was serious, but unconcerned with her initial visual of the finding.  That’s good.  To be safe, she wants me to get the mammogram re-done on that side.  That’s a bummer.  There is an old joke about how to prepare for a mammogram:  Lie down on your garage floor and strategically position yourself, and then have your good friend bring the garage door down on you.  That about sums it up. 

We had a little confusion at the office visit yesterday just before I went pale and almost passed out.  What I heard my physician say was:  “if you come back for your re-check in December and it’s still there, I will rip it out.”  (Let’s blame this misunderstanding on us wearing the stupid blue anti-covid masks.)  When I responded:  “You most certainly will NOT rip it out…” She said, “I would never RIP it out, I would nip it out….”  I shook my head NO.  She ain’t doing THAT either.  Not on my watch.

(*If you are reading this, do NOT get worried about me or call me on the phone.  Just wait-it-out with me.  I will unfold it on the blog. I’m not picking out my casket yet, and I am not freaked-out.) 

Point of telling this true story:  “Reminder:  Get your annual mammogram.”

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Last Night (November 10, 2021)

Oh, yeah, and I was also supposed to “apply heat” to it.  So I heated up my bean bags in the microwave and tucked one under my arm and laid one on my abdomen to calm me down.  The three dogs jumped up on me as we settled in on the couch to watch “Chesapeake Shores.”   (I wanted to move there until I found out it was filmed in Canada.)  I am positive that Canada is colder than New York.   Not moving there, no siree.

I was not happy with the amount of heat I was applying to the “affected area” under my arm.  So I got up, scooped up some 3-flavor vanilla Turkey Hill ice cream (Vanilla bean, Bourbon vanilla, and French vanilla).  I put Heath bar pieces on it.  (“Heat” plus an “h”).  And then I poured Kahlua over the ice cream.  That way the heat would be internal as I ate the ice cream.  I’m so clever.

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