Worst First Communion Homily ever. That's the award I would give it. I could not believe my ears. I imagine there could be worse, but I will let you be the judge. Think and decide. Think from the perspective of someone who has had to sit through at least 5 trainings on "Safe Environment: Protecting the Youth." Think from the perspective of someone who was raised on the phrases like, "that's not a very nice thing to say," and "we don't talk like that." And let me begin at a previous homily to set the backdrop.
All during COVID there was this strange tension in our Catholic sensibilities. We were always taught that on Sunday, if you weren't dead, you had better be in Church. It was a mortal sin to miss it unless YOU were gravely ill. This is how the first Christian Church lived out the commandment to honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy: You show up, you pray, you have donuts. (well, donuts were a more recent addition because someone decided that having a coffee after church "builds community." A discussion for another series.) So here comes a pandemic and our State leaders said, "Everyone stays home. No work. No School. No Sports. No Church." Wow. You just wiped-out American culture in one fell-swoop so it must be pretty serious. But even the Bishops climbed on board and said, "You can attend Mass virtually on television to satisfy the obligation to attend Mass" during the height of the pandemic. I give my utmost respect to the priests who thought outside of the proverbial box and did Parking Lot Liturgies and taped off every other row in church to attain to the Social Distancing. What could be worse than to deprive Catholics the spiritual support we receive from holy communion during a period when we needed it most? And now, because of this extreme measure, taken with good motives from the Bishops' perspective, we have lost at least 33% of church goers. They just haven't come back. Perhaps they figured out that you would not drop dead from skipping Mass.
I went to a great suburban parish during the re-integration time. It was led by two priests and two deacons that were just super fantastic. And that is high praise from me, the Most Critical of Critics. I am critical not because I am mean, but because I believe in thinking outside of the box and so few people do it. Frankly, it irks the hell out of me. The only people who sing the Fiddler on the Roof song "Tradition, Tradition!" about rules louder than Rebbe Tevyye are Catholic leadership. And that has cost us credibility and consequently members.
So at the end of the pandemic, the unthinkable happens and my two hero-priests are re-assigned. The new leadership comes in and I knew two things within 5 minutes of the first homily I heard him preach: 1) that I would have to give him wide berth because he had a certain demeanor; 2) that he was a canon lawyer. It seems so odd to me that we have canon law when Jesus was pretty clear He came to install mercy and love as the new basis for decision-making. While the Jews had 777 mini laws, the Canon Lawyers have hundreds more. I get it, that we make rules to make sure everyone, every case, is treated fairly but my gosh, really. And, YES, I HAVE READ CANON LAW.
The first homily jarred me to the core. He announced to the parish via his sermon that "no longer would lectors sit in the sanctuary area, because they are not the same character as priests and deacons. They must sit in the benches and come forward from within the laity to read the Scriptures." Here's this about that. Most people sitting there have NO clue that the term "character" in that context is a liturgical term referring to members of the community having certain roles that are proper to them. So the role of the Presider of Liturgy (aka: the priest or celebrant) is to sit nearby the altar. The deacon, also consecrated to preach the gospel in a unique laity role gets to sit there too. The laity (aka: the "pray-pay-obey" group sits in the herd). Most people don't know that "character" is related to the idea of liturgical roles. What they interpret is: "you aren't as holy as us, so you sit out there." Not mentioning that this church has a wide sanctuary area where there is room for all, and for elderly lectors it cuts out the possibility of them falling as they go up the sanctuary steps when they get up to read. Not mentioning that I used to attend a Teen Mass in another place where the youth were invited INTO the sanctuary area during the consecration to gather more literally around the altar, to be invited INTO the mystery as God's chosen ones. Not mentioning that when Christ died on the cross, the Scriptures say that the veil in the sanctuary of the Jewish temple was torn miraculously from top to bottom - a sign that there is no separation between us and God: He WANTS us closer and has made the way for us to be reconciled to Him in His Holiness.
Then the homilist took aim at the few Traditional Catholics who, in that parish, sat in the back row of the Church so that when they came up to receive communion they could exercise their preference of kneeling on one knee (genuflecting) in honor to the Lord prior to receiving holy communion. He told them they could NO LONGER practice that way, suggesting that they could cause an older congregant to trip and break a hip. Yes, he really said that. Are you KIDDING ME?! He then thanked the people who received communion on the tongue for not biting his hand ... lately. (Most people receive the communion bread in their hand and place it in their own mouth, which is a practice that came about in the late 1970's. Prior to that EVERY Catholic received communion at a kneeler on BOTH knees, and the priest placed the host directly into their mouth when they said, "Amen." I truly hope those Traditional Catholics were big money donors to the parish and took their wallets with them to go to the Church down the street that will respect their preference without insulting them in front of the whole congregation.
What we have here is someone who picks and chooses which people he is okay with tripping and falling and breaking hips. He is a man who appears okay with just insulting a percentage of the congregation that at least COMES to Mass with a level of devotion and piety that is admirable. His words betray a level of clericalism and iconoclasm that is ironic. I said to myself, "I love the music here. The people are kind. It is a great church. But if I drop anchor here there will be fireworks eventually." So I left. Remember that cigarette commercial that said, "It's better to fight than switch"? In this case, it isn't. I can go to St. Whomever's parish without the caustic sermons.
Which brings me to yesterday morning, where I ended up going to that church to give it another try. What I mean by "another try" is that I hoped my Catholic sensibilities would not be offended. Strike two.
The church was packed because it was First Communion Sunday for the children. A mother with an infant and two little children ages about 5 and 8 sat next to me. Mysteriously, she took her baby and left me with her kids. I thought she just took the baby out to the bathroom. Perhaps she was standing in the back somewhere. But there I was with her two children, one of whom was clearly "unchurched" and kept talking and fidgeting. At one point I gave her the "shush" finger to my lips and whispered, "we have to be quiet we are praying now." At another point, I pulled the kneeler down so we could kneel and she asked quite loudly what that was for. I explained, "we are praying this way now." Then I asked the older of the two, "Have you made your First Communion?" (no.) "Okay. So you see how the girls are dressed up like little brides and the boys like little grooms? That is because they love Jesus and are asking Him to come into their heart in a special way today. The priest will give them a little piece of bread which is called the Body of Jesus." It was very basic catechesis. I actually encouraged the little one to stand on the kneeler when the First communion kids went up to the front of the church so she could see them. It is always a great sight to see, the finer moment of Catholic childhood.
But before that vignette was the homily. Now I ask you, if you see someone come out into a group of people with a baseball bat in his right hand, tapping the top middle of it with his flat left hand, would it make you nervous? And then if he was to step towards beautiful children and fake like he was going to hit them with it, does it sit wrong with you? Then put that someone in a priest's vestments and picture starting a homily that way. It is INAPPROPRIATE. It is offensive to anyone's sensibilities. And if we laugh it is because it is AWKWARD LAUGHTER. Because ... in your right mind ... when you see little kids who are 7-8 years old dressed like little brides and little grooms because they love Jesus, what about that picture makes you think of even JOKING with a baseball bat?
He anchored his homily in a story involving two kids running crying to their mother. One said, "He hit me with a baseball bat." The mother said, "And what did YOU hit him with?" The kid replied, "Everything else." The congregation chuckled. The story was cute. But it didn't seem right to apply that to this situation. If a lay person said that to kids in a religious education class, that person would be banned from interaction with kids. Decades ago, before there were workshops about child safety and appropriate adult behavior, I as a program leader had to lecture an adult male teacher who shoved a surly 7th grade boy up against a wall. He used his size and force as an intimidation factor to get the kid to behave. If he did that nowadays, he'd need a defense lawyer, and rightly so.
There we were in this church, celebrating this special day for the children with a priest teasing that he was going to hit someone with a baseball bat. I think it's time for a sabbatical for someone, just saying. So what about the rest of the homily? Indeed. What about it? No explanation for how special this day is for Catholics. No referencing the Scriptures on the beautiful practice of receiving communion. Visiting unchurched adults were there a-plenty, and no invitation for them to explore the beliefs of Catholicism or consider reactivating their own faith practices to cope with the stressors of modern life. No call to consider the wonder of the gift of Christ for our salvation. No explanation of how Jesus can come into your heart and give your life beauty and purpose and stability. No nothing. A huge missed opportunity. Maybe it was more important to him that he be perceived as "one of the guys," but I for one lost all respect... and so I sadly give the award of: Worst Homily Ever.
For those of you who are reading this series for tips on how to craft a good homily, here they are: Never miss an opportunity to talk about the Mercy and Graciousness of God. Never hold back from talking about the things in Catholic life that are beautiful, symbolic, and meaningful on so many levels. Never hesitate to incorporate an appropriate story that may help broaden the understanding of people... stories captivate us. And Never, Ever, Ever joke about physical violence in a church where there are innocent children sitting there, perhaps adult survivors of violence present, or others who are sick and tired of attending the damned Virtus Trainings when there are clergy who feel exempt from living the Safe Environment credo. Oh, yeah, and maybe throw in a Scripture quote. Lord, deliver us...
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I know there are those who will consider this bad form for airing dirty laundry. Thank you for your concern. Be advised: I am done with propriety and silence when the nonsense continues. If I knew the Bishop, I would call him.
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Important update as of 06/13/23. This homilist has been transferred to another parish from where he spent less than a year as pastor. I guess Someone VOTED with their envelope dollars or called the Bishop.
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