Let me begin by saying I am getting a little testy with all of the opportunities everyone else is taking to scam people. I detest trolls and those who steal money and personal identities and home titles, the list goes on and on. And, I think there is a particularly HOT eternal future for those who take advantage of the elderly.
I do not consider myself elderly. Yet. And, armed with a good cup of coffee, I can think pretty quickly on my feet. You won't see it coming, and then it happens: I respond in a way that throws the person off guard. I dedicate this incident to all the grandparents out there who never want to receive a phone call from the guy who called me. And to The Guy Who Called Me, ha ha ha ha .... I can't stop laughing. I ABSOLUTELY PUNKED YOU!
Have you noticed that when spammers call, two things give you a warning. #1) your caller ID doesn't show the name of someone you actually know. It may have a personal name on it. It may look like, given the area code and first three numbers, that it is from someone in the town where you live. It usually isn't. If you don't know the name and number, guess what? You probably aren't being called by the person whose name it is. I know. That is abominable for someone to USE a name that is not theirs; but that's okay, I've got a whole other list of names for them, and those won't be found in your local church's congregant directory.
The warning #2) You say "Hello," once and there is a fairly long pause. THEN you will hear a garbled sound that seems to be a voice but is just background noise. You now have a question mark in your voice and ask again, "Hello???" and then someone's voice bursts through the mental haze and declares: "Hello I'm a paid caller with MDS..." or "My name is Officer Bob and I'm calling on behalf of your local sheriff's department" (no, he's not.). So at this point most people just hang up on the poor blighter... but my call went this way:
Ring. Ring.
Me: Hello (first time).
Long pause, then garbled noise.
Me: Hello. (second time, kind of snippy) Who is this?
Him: Mom?
Me: Son, is that you? I was hoping you'd call. How are you? (I do not have a son.)
Him: I'm not doing so good...
Me: (annoyed voice) Are you in jail AGAIN?
Pause. No response from him. I can barely say the next part because I am smiling so hard I have tears in my eyes.
Me: I told your father you'd end up just like him! (I have no husband.)
Silence on the other end of the phone. I hang the phone up nonchalantly as if I do this every day. And guess what, I am going to do it AGAIN the very next chance I get because turning the tables on these people makes me feel like I am contributing positively to society. Feel free to try it yourself.
