Thursday, August 25, 2016

When Hump Day is on Thursday



When Hump Day is on Thursday

They say some things are best left to the imagination.  But I have to admit, my 30 second exposure to reality as I drove to work this morning is something that my imagination never would even conjure up.  I guess I am still getting used to living in the real country.  Permit me a digression before I really tell you what view I was treated to enroute to work.

It always –and I mean ALWAYS – irritates me when people from out of state talk about New York in terms of “the City.”  NYC is such a small –and allow me a bit of spirited derision here – miniscule, and consequently congested and overwhelming (to me), part of the interesting things about this state.  In fact, they wouldn’t even have the right to call it “The Big Apple” if it wasn’t for the fact that almost ALL of the rest of the state grows some of the greatest apples in the nation. 

Even the history buffs tell you that there was some sort of a fight when Downstate wasn’t allowed to be the Capitol of New York – Albany claimed the prize.  Although, if I had been in charge, I would have moved the Capitol to a more central location but, silly me, I think in terms of fairness for the entire state and not just for some.  At least the State Fair was put in a central location.  Someone had their adequate dose of coffee the morning that decision was made.

So all that being said, I do want to reiterate the point that a vast part of this state is incredible agricultural property:  dairy farms, horse ranches, corn fields, apple orchards and (gasp) vineyards that take your breath, if not your sobriety, away.  Frankly, there is not enough gasoline to fill a lifetime of my vehicles in order to satiate my desire to see it all.  The greatest thing that could happen to me right now would be to win a brand new vehicle with zero mileage so I could start all over in my travels to take in every borough and country lane.  And need I speak of the miles of antique stores and flea markets on Route 20 – that route cuts clean across the state and is the coolest road to drive when the leaves are changing colors in autumn!  Even up into our own forests of the Adirondack mountains, there are adorable little gift shops and corner pizza places and creeks a plenty.   And yet …

And yet when I pull out of my driveway and travel less than a mile down the street, the oddness of reality strikes me.  I glance across to my right and I see something that at first does not make sense.  I’m thinking:  “Why does that cow look awfully high up in the air?”  And as my eyes re-adjust in a split second to the entire picture, here’s what I realize.  It isn’t a cow.  It’s a bull.  And the bull is standing ON a cow, ahem, and he is quite serious.  And there are farmers in the doorway of the barn watching to make sure that the goal is achieved.  And I wonder if they laughed at the expressions on the faces of those of us who drove by and saw fifteen seconds of “Life on a Dairy Farm,” and inadvertently dropped our jaws ….

In retrospect, where did I think that pasture full of baby calves came from, anyway?  The storks are too busy delivering to the hospitals to work on the farms as well!
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