05/20/2020
The veterinarian used a word I’d rather not hear: “rare.”
I was sitting in my vehicle outside the clinic and the Vet was on the
inside with my dog …. Where I wanted to be, save for “COVID19 safe distancing.”
It began two weeks ago with my dog’s eye
looking red and the lower interior eyelid (an extra feature) seeming
irritated. Then I noticed her lower lip
on that side drooped and drooling. And
her nose was plugged up … most likely kitty litter, as she hunted for a
snack. Yeah, dogs have some reprehensible
habits. So after playing “Home Vet”
myself for a week and a half – saline flushing the nostril, gently, and
terramycin drops in her eye – and seeing little to no improvement save for the
lower lip getting better (I massaged it often), I hauled her in for a vet
visit.
A rare partial facial paralysis. Maybe due to thyroid. Maybe due to infection. Maybe, we don’t know. She’s only eight years old, hardly a senior
citizen. Just last year at this time she
had a litter of puppies. How quickly
life changes, and without my permission, if I do say so. So the new part of normal This Week is eye ointment antibiotic, eye ointment for
lubrication, and a tablet antibiotic. I
made a grid on my kitchen table and began keeping track of my tasks. I can manage this. I’ve managed worse.
So I took a break this evening and walked a mile at the
horse track. And I started to ponder
again the things that matter to me.
The whole world is in a tail-spin (it seems) and no one knows who we are
believing for good direction:
The doctor that, while he is head of Infectious Disease in
this country, also is accused of participating in financing Wuhan Labs with our
American money. Was he part of
making this disease for study purposes?
The president that has been so busy fighting to save his own
skin for the past 4 years from his merciless, lying and brainless opponents –
and yet he can’t seem to help himself with the barbs and jabs on Twitter – come
on, be professional for 5 minutes so we know you got this.
The governor that shuts down the entire state because his
part of the state is hit the worst in the country… his concern for human life
seems exponential because he often uses the phrase “out of an abundance of
caution” or something like that …. Too bad he doesn’t have that kind of concern
for the babies that are full term that he wants to allow to be executed when
they come out of the womb if their mothers don’t want them.
The bishop who, despite a clear shortage of priests during the
regular term of life prior to COVID-19, (I have heard) thinks that when we
re-open we should have “more Masses” so people can practice safe
distancing. Look, my friend, ever since
the clergy scandals, a lot of people began to practice their own form of social
distancing: not showing up at all. The Church has an image problem that it
thinks it can somehow ignore and all of a sudden be the Bastion of Spiritual
Support that it should have always been, right now. Um, yeah, not happening. I am going to “online Mass” in other states
where the homilies have some content and zeal and perspective. I feel abandoned by the local church for more
than one reason.
So my point is, not to be ugly, but to admit that the
leadership in every realm has various disconnects that have hurt their image
with the public. Consequently, it is far
beyond a partisan issue. No one knows WHO
to trust. And don’t get me started on
the godless Media that still, in the middle of this healthcare nightmare, tries
to twist the words and agenda when they are interviewing any of these key
people. Where’s Commandant Pelosi when we
can finally identify people who are TRULY guilty of Treason: the greater part of our national Media.
And among those of us who pay cash …. I have noticed a lot
of interesting subdivisions:
Ø
The people who think this is a hoax designed to
take away our freedom, break down the populace, and create a climate for the
social revolution that the Progressives want.
Ø
The people who are patiently complying, trying
to keep their wits about them by clinging to faith, family and a memory of
freedom from days gone by.
Ø
The people who are scared out of their brains watching
too much news, and thinking that anyone who does anything that is in their
particular political party is a gift from God Himself.
Ø
The rebels who won’t be told what to do, even if
people around them are dropping like flies.
Ø
The sheep who are doing every single thing to
the “nth” power just in case…. They were the ones who were most nervous on the
eve of Y2K.
Ø
The people who think this is God’s way of
stopping our break-neck speed merri-go-round and making us take stock of what
is truly important. Does God do
that in such a terrible way?
Ø
Those who are distracting themselves in every
possible way so as not to be overwhelmed by having the Rug of Regular Life
ripped from under their feet.
I may have missed a group or
two. Some of the groups overlap, but you
get the point. My humble
observation: We are still needing to
pull together. Last week, I unfriended a
person on Facebook who probably won’t miss me …. I didn’t like her relentless
postings that slurred and belittled my particular political party. When I told her that I had hoped we could
remain friends, but was insulted by a recent name-calling she posted, she told
me it was “up to me” if I was insulted by her words. Come on, sister. That’s like the guy who drives down the
highway blaring his horn and has his left window down giving everyone a
single-digit traffic signal as he flies along:
he offends EVERYBODY. It’s just a
shock to the sensibilities of regular people who have their own opinions – and are
entitled to them – and would prefer to be left unscarred by crass behavior around
them. I wish we would have a National
No-Name Calling Month. I can’t hope that
we could make it last a whole year. My
faith in “us” is not that strong.
So while I wonder if I can get
back to the things that mattered to me, and cling more tightly to what I still
have (my dogs, my family, my friends, my faith) I am confused by what the
future will look like. Will yellow
school buses never pass my driveway again?
Will Disneyland re-open? Can I
drive across the state lines to go sit by the ocean with my friends? Will the economy rebound from this “eventually”
like it always seems to do? Will I go
back to work physically for the last few years before I retire? (frankly if these 8 weeks are a taste of
retirement: more dog-time, more lap-top-
time, more time to cook better food and take walks so I don’t turn into a pear-shaped
elderly Polish auntie, more conversations on the phone with friends &
family….. BRING ON RETIREMENT, BABY!!!).
Two weeks ago, Fr. Mike’s online
homily (from Ascension Press) he made the most salient point I’ve heard
yet: “We just want TO KNOW …. “ we want to know how this or that will turn
out. …. Or how THIS particularly will turn out.
We feel like we will be at peace …. if we just knew …. BUT that is not
the nature of Trust. It is the
opportunity for us to say: “Jesus, I trust
in You …. even through this situation.”
I used to sing a song in Church
with the words from Psalm 23: “though
through the dark valley I pass, I am not afraid. Your rod and your staff are beside me to give
me strength.” His staff may be for
guidance, but I know also that rod is for correction. This is our Season of Rod & Staff, as it
is. Huh.
And I thought the dark valley was my dating life….
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